The three main ingredients for a lasting relationship may surprise you because they’re not love, sex or money...
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| datingyouths.BlogSpot.com |
The answer is commitment and space, according to two studies. These attributes may not be romantic or earth-moving, but experts say that mixed with generous dollops of respect, caring and affection, they can help your relationship shuffle happily into the twilight years.
1. A commitment to go all the way
The median age for divorce in the world has been rising steadily for two decades and is now 41.3 years for women and 44.2 for men. A third divorces occur in marriages of 20 years or more at a stage in life when many would feel the real hard work of raising kids, establishing careers and paying off bills could be behind them.So why are these long relationships busting open just when they can see the light of good times ahead? it boils down to the level of commitment to the relationship that couples take into the marriage at the start. Researchers followed 172 newlyweds for 11 years and found that the marriages that went the distance – 78.5 per cent – were made up of couples who were willing to “make sacrifices” for the sake of the marriage.
The researchers said the couples with successful relationships were committed not only to each other but to the overarching relationship, and were determined to protect it.
We agree that while love is important – and being in love is likely what got the whole thing started in the first place – a successful relationship that lasts for decades requires a commonsense approach and an initial deep and real commitment to making it work in good times and bad.
“The relationship is the higher shared goal,”. “With couples making a commitment to doing what they have to do to keep it strong. It’s about putting the relationship first and facing the unavoidable reality that it can’t always be smooth sailing and good times.”
2. A healthy amount of space
As some couples or youths like the idea of clinging in a relationship, it is advisable to give a reasonable amount of privacy and space for a partner.I found online that 29 per cent of spouses said they didn’t have enough “privacy or time for self” in their relationship, with more wives than husbands reporting not having enough space. The importance of space is that it gives people time to process thoughts, pursue hobbies and relax without responsibilities to others
It’s important to allow partners to also pursue their own dreams, too. “Not every goal can be a joint one,” she says. “A relationship needs to have the trust and respect within it to allow each person to also be individuals.”
3. Being affectionate
Cuddling and caressing were found to be more important ingredients for couple’s long-term commitment, looking at relationship and sexual satisfaction. And contrary to stereotypes, tenderness was found to be more important to the men than the women.Another interesting finding was that women’s sexual satisfaction within the relationship grew over time, with those who’d been with their partner for less than 15 years less likely to report sexual satisfaction than those who’d been with their partner for more than 15 years.
“Sex can be the glue that keeps a couple together or feeling connected – it can be what helps them feel bonded, despite the challenges in their everyday life. “Without it, they often grow apart. Couples who enjoy a regular sex life, tend to nag less, fight less and feel as if they have an ally in their life, no matter the problems.”
Please, never wonder how a single guy got to know this, reading articles have been of help all the time.
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