Things i've larned from failed relationships.

Many times when a relationship ends, one of the only things that provide any sort of solace at all is the fact that, through the course of the courtship, you’ve learned things that contributed to it not ultimately working out—and that you can use this newfound knowledge to improve your next relationship. (This is, of course, considering you ever recover enough to pursue another romantic interest and stop sobbing on the couch while you chug Johnnie Walker and listen to Elliott Smith.)

Like, for example, after my last relationship imploded, I learned that you can’t be a pushover if you really want a relationship to work. You may think it's a good idea to fawn all over someone and pretty much let them have their way without your ever doing or even saying anything about it, but if you do that, eventually one of two things will happen: (1) They’ll grow tired not being challenged and decide to move on without you, or (2) You’ll snap and call things off yourself.
But that's just my experience...so I asked a bunch of guys to tell us what they’ve learned from the failings of past relationships.
1. “I learned to never, ever say something like, ‘I’d probably be better off without you’ to someone you love. It won’t end well.”—Nathaniel W.

2. “You have to pick your fights. My ex and I were so, so, so stubborn about pretty much everything—probably especially about the littler things, and after a while that broke us, I think. When we weren’t arguing about something, it was like we were walking on egg shells trying not to say or do the thing that would launch us into the next fight. I definitely learned that while you’re never going to always agree with the person you’re with, you should really make an effort to only fight over things when they really matter. If you take a step back and really think about things before you start screaming, I think it’ll help.” —Casey F.

 3. “My breakup happened after we’d been together for almost five years, starting in high school and coming just before the end of college. I learned that people change over time and that you not only have to accept that and roll with it in any way you can, but you also have to sometimes be ready to acknowledge it if and when one or both of you have changed so much that the relationship is no longer something that’s going to be sustainable. It’s depressing, but it’s also life. Breaking up or getting divorced these days is more common because it’s more socially accepted that you might drift from a person you love over time and then call it quits. To me, this makes marriage a bigger deal, too. Anyway, sorry...yeah…I learned that people change.” —Blake A.

4. “A couple relationships ago, it ended because I was cheated on. When I found out, it was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever felt in my life.  So I learned that you should never cheat. Even though I probably already knew that. I also learned to be wary of dating anyone who has cheated in the past. It makes it more difficult to trust them, for sure, because how can you be sure they’re not going to do it again? It’s kind of like trusting your life to someone who has killed unjustly before." —Scott P.

5. “My ex-boyfriend and I moved in together way before we were ready to share that kind of space. We did it because—and this is really common in New York City—because his lease was up and I was excited to pay half of what I had been for my one bedroom apartment. I can’t stress how much those are not the best reasons for moving in with a significant other. By the time we realized we weren’t ready to live together, going back to living apart wasn’t something we wanted to do, but staying together wasn’t, either.” —Seth B.

6. “I learned that if you let it happen, families can really screw up a relationship. My girlfriend’s parents didn’t like me at all. I wasn’t the religion or profession they hoped their daughter would end up with, and before I even met them, they had a negative perception of me. When I did actually meet them, the cards were stacked against me. Eventually, my ex sided with them, and I don’t think I’ll ever know whether our breakup was for legitimate reasons or just because she sided with her family and let them influence the way she felt about me. She is dating a doctor now, though. I’ve learned to make sure I date women now who either don’t care so much what their parents think of me or whose parents don’t automatically hate me for reasons I don’t agree with.” —Jonathan V.

7. “My last relationship ended because of some health issues that ended up being a real setback for my ex and me. I don’t want to get into specifics, but there were issues that made it really hard for us to be together, and no matter how much we tried to fight through them, it just became too hard. The issues were on my end, and they contributed to me being a horrible partner for a long time, and eventually, she couldn’t stick it out, and I’m not sure I wanted her to. I certainly didn’t act like I did. I think and hope this will help me in future relationships, knowing that unexpected curveballs will come your way and that when they do, you should try to tackle them together the best you can. And if not together, you should at least try to not push people away in the process.” —Michael B.

8. “My ex and I were attached at the hip, which is great during the honeymoon period but can be too much after a while, especially when you decide to live together. We both kind of lost track of ourselves and our personal hobbies and things that we’d loved to do before we were together, to the point where we had something like separation anxiety that prohibited us from doing things on our own. I learned there can be such a thing as too much togetherness.” —Mark G.
source: http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/relationships/